Dealing with more loss

9 09 2008

Recently we said goodbye to my father in law. He was such a great guy, I miss him dearly. He died of lung cancer, a word for people out there, if you smoke STOP!! if you don’t, don’t start. He used to smoke in his youth.

I was blessed to have him in my life. I fell in love with him from the beginning. I always felt comfortable around him. He was the kind of person that could lift you up regardless of the mood you were in. He was funny, affectionate, caring and always had a smile, even near the end.

He was a great father, husband, friend, and will be greatly missed.

With love wherever you are 😉



14 08 2008

I have been posting on and off for a little while because we were in the middle of moving across country. I had some technical difficulties and I needed help fixing (not a techie). Here are the updates,


  • We moved back north. I am happy because we are closer to my husband’s family. For me family is everything and mine is way way far away…
  • some people asked me to update Mary’s situation, she is doing much better, Juanita (aka. Jane) was fired. She got caught with her fingers in the cookie jar. Embezzlement, forgery…the works. Mary is relieved, but she is still looking for another job, management never did anything to improve her situation,somebody said that because Juanita is minority they were afraid to do anything and get sued by her, crazy.
  • I am looking for a job too, although my boys, love to come home and find me here, with a home cooked meal. (when I say boys I include Hubby, ha 😉 ). If you know of a high paying job with little or nothing to do, send it my way… ha

Taking things for granted

23 04 2008

I find it interesting how we start appreciating people and things when we don’t have them anymore.

I used to live in a city surrounded by mountains, a beautiful luscious green valley. We had two seasons, rainy/spring and dry/summer, both warm. When you have gorgeous skies everyday, you soon start ignoring them. I sometimes wondered why people did not dress for the weather, and soon enough I realized the weather was never a factor.


I believe that weather and geography affect the culture and moods of people. I guess it is easy to be optimistic when the sun is out there everyday smiling at you and saying everything is going to be okay.

I come from a worry free; tomorrow will be another day culture. The earth is rich and fertile; wherever a seed falls a tree grows. There is almost no plan for the future concern, there is little grudge holding, at least not for long. Memory is short term. This can be good, but also very bad.

 There is a group of protected indigenous people that live as they did before colonization, and you can see that state of mind reflected in their way of life. They are semi nomadic, the only crops they plant take several months to come out, so they plant them and move on, they live somewhere else plant the crops and leave, in the next place they’ll find the crops ready to use. Their time orientation is focus in today with little planning.

 If you see communities that live in climates where seasons change, they are forced to plan for the future in order to survive. That is reflected in their way of life to this day. They find inventive ways of preserving goods for the winter. They dry and cure meats. They need to create clothing for protection from the elements. The needs shape their behavior and mindset. 

One thing that I miss a lot is the ocean. It used to be half an hour away. Clear waters of warm, white sandy beaches that extended for miles on end. The last time I went to my former home, my husband and I booked our flights so that we could spend the day in Miami, and go to the beach. It was great, as soon as the plane landed, we ran to the beach and the first thing we both did was breath in that ocean. I have been to the beach in the shores of Lake Michigan, it is beautiful and you could be fooled by the fresh water beaches, but there is nothing like the ocean. We didn’t realize we missed it so much until we were there. The waters of Florida are still too cold for my taste.



 After spending four to five month of winter, you can really appreciate spring. You can go outside breath in the blue sky and recharge with the sun’s energy. You start coming to life, just like those little blooms that are shooting out of the defrosted ground and the energy pouring out of the emerald green of the grass. All of the sudden the gray starts disappearing, pushed aside by the blossoming colors and smells that awake something inside, that is longing to come out.

 The days have started to get longer; the birds’ melodies carry in the new day. The trees are blooming; soon there will be flowers everywhere.


 Spring is a new beginning, brings hope, everything is coming back to life. It is full of promise…enjoy it, do not take it for granted.

Let me tell you about my first time

30 01 2008

As I sit here and think about it, I continue to be aprehensive. I have never done this before. Like for any other first time, I wonder, am I going to like this? Will it be warm and comforting, exciting and rewarding or bland and dissatisfying?

I try to ask more questions, how does it feel? “It’s great!” they say, “You have to try it”. But, but, I don’t know if am ready, maybe I should do this another time… “come on, don’t chicken out now!” they say.

My friend brings out the box. It’s a small nox filled with small bags, the bags are filled with a white powder. It has a funny texture, it is not well refined, it is a little coarse.

I have thought about trying it for a while. Do I have too high an expectation that I am going to be disappointed, or is it going to be what I thought and more?

I am still hesitant, first times can be exciting and scary.

When you are doing something that you have never done before, there is always some anticipation and sometimes I wonder if the ballon would be deflated with disappointment.

Sometimes I don’t want to do it, what if I like it too much, and get hooked on it? Am I going to want it everyday? Is it good for me?

I pour it out of the bag and they tell me that I have to add hot water to it, there is no turning back after this.

I add the water and it becomes a thick paste, I try it and it tastes like a special dough I would make for a dish from home. My friend suggests that I add some milk and sugar to it. It is still very bland. It feels to me like it still need cooking or toasting, but the box said “Instant, Cream of Wheat”.

This wasn’t a very satisfying first time…


The beauty of winter

26 01 2008


dscn1785.jpg Winter is beautiful, yes it is cold, but there are so many changes that happen dunaturaleza.jpgring winter, that I am always in awe of nature.

I like when it snows, after the roads have been cleaned up, the view is wonderful. I live in an area surrounded by fields, “the boonies” I’ve been told. In the winter, these fields that during the summer are golden by the corn or different shades of green from different crops, turn white, a crisp white a quiet white. You can see for miles, and it all looks so peaceful and clean. The sun rays reflected in that white, like feeding of the energy of the snow.

I usually take back roads to go to work, I could go to the highway, but then what is the fun in that? I get to drive by these wonderful fields and watch the birds huddled together in the power lines. There are some woods along the way, and it is a spectacle to see the snow and ice deposited in the limbs of the naked trees.  

Of course driving on the snow is another story altogether, especially if it is falling. I have had scary experiences when I can’t see a thing, or when my car won’t stop… Or the mess with the slush or the black ice.

dscn1785.jpgdscn1785.jpgI said I wanted the seasons, so I won’t complain; I actually enjoy most of it. The shoveling, the snow blower, snowball wars, sledding, it is just fun.

 It is so nice to sit inside with a warm cup of tea or chocolate watching the snow fall from the warmth of my home and family.


Proof of Alieness

20 01 2008

I have a confession to make; I have never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich… I know, that is all the proof you needed to know that I am an alien.

When the subject comes up, peopledscn1780.jpgdscn1780.jpg look at me with that look that tells me that my cover has been blown. They already knew I was different, but now they know…how different.

When some people found out that I had never tried one they came up with all kinds of suggestions on how ‘my first time’ should be. The time, place, type of bread, flavor of jelly and even should it be jelly, jam or preserves?  There were many arguments among the experts about what should be the best approach.

 To tell you the truth, I feel a little bit grossed out by the idea. Don’t get me wrong; even though I did not grow up with it, I love peanut butter. I have had it with bread, crackers, candy, ice cream and even shakes. I also like jellies, jams and preserves, but putting them together seems odd.I know I will eventually have to take the ‘big leap’ and do it, but I am not ready just yet.


Race, what about the people in the middle?

19 01 2008

 The Racial dynamics is this society are fascinating to me. I have taken classes to understand the how, why and the how long.  I have to explain that I come from a culture of mestizos, where we are all a mix of something and we see skin color as a physical characteristic, like height and weight, and not as a racial difference. I know this is difficult to grasp for some people who have lived all their lives with race as first and foremost distinguishing trait of their lives. 

When I moved here I thought racism was a thing of the past, a part of history. Obviously I was very wrong…  I was asked by an African American woman “how do you people segregate yourselves” I just said “we don’t”, why should we? I did not understand. I have learned that in this society you are assigned or you have to choose a faction. I have been assigned that I am Latina, coming from Latinamerica, which was not too farfetched for me. What I did not know is that it came with a set of characteristics and expectations assigned to me, some of which I can’t and will not accept. And thinking about this I wondered, what about those people in the middle. I have met people that come from interracial couples, and often times they are forced to assume only one of their two or more ancestries. I wonder if it is part of our need to categorize the world and put people into classifications with their own set of stereotypes and rules. 

Chappell’s race draft is a great satiric example of this, enjoy!!

The video is above

Why do they have to choose a side? Can anybody tell me that?