Are we being too sensitive and becoming desensitized?

27 07 2011

Work sent me overseas to a Latin American country and some of my co-workers called all men Pedro. It was a joke and nobody really cared. But that got me thinking, if they did that at home in the US, people would be offended, even if there were not Latinos. This got me wondering, is the effort to not offend anybody going too far, to the point of being silly? Are we so vulnerable that anything can hurt us?

In my friend’s child soccer team, there are no goalies; no body wins or loses. I understand and agree that the game is supposed to be fun, and that US society tends to be extremely competitive, but trying to shield children from the experience of loosing a game may give them a false sense of entitlement and deny them the opportunity of learning how to lose; which frankly is as important as learning how to win.

We walk around on egg shells trying so hard not to hurt anybody’s feelings. Could it be that by not being exposed to disappointment and pain that we are creating children and adults with no empathy? Do you think a bully would do what they do if they had gone through something similar?

I see kids videotaping themselves hitting others, doing flash mobs of theft and other unimaginable things with no regard for consequences. If you don’t learn early on the consequences for your actions, than you may think there are none.

Can we be honest with each other and just let somebody know when their behavior crossed the line. How about if we have the conversations instead of trying so hard that we don’t say anything meaningful anymore.





It is easy to talk the talk when you don’t have to walk the walk

15 03 2010

Don’t you hate it when people that don’t know what they are talking about praise the benefits of communism? You may wonder, what is she talking about? I am talking about an actor by the name Sean Penn.

This is the guy that praises Castro and the represive government of Iran.

This fool, yes you are, appeared on a talk show defending the venezuelan president. He said that people that call him a dictator should be put in jail!?!?!?! He probably doesn’t know that that is just what a dictator would do. It is called Free speech, a democracy gives us the right to say what we please, express our opinion. The thing is that people that oppose the above mentioned “president” are put in jail.

Mr. Penn also said that Venezuela has had the most ‘transparent’ elections in the hemisphere… he is so right, they have all been clear as mud. When a person can lose their job, become unhirable, unable to get a passport, because they are in a black list, they are part of the list of people that did not vote for the president. I think you can call that transparent. It is transparent because people know that they will lose their livelihood if they don’t join and vote for the party and if they don’t wear the red t-shirt and march for the government when asked. He probably doesn’t know that parliametary elections (equivalent to senate and congress) are coming up and Read the rest of this entry »





Can we maybe slow down?

7 03 2010

I was talking to a friend about some cultural differences between here and my home planet and she though I was being silly when I said that I think we are always in a hurry here, she said why would people slow down and waste time. I started to wonder why are we in such a hurry.

When first moved to the US and would go to a restaurant, I found it so rude that the would bring the check when you are in the middle of your meal. That felt like they were pushing you out the door. Like they were saying “next”. I have gotten used to it and I just try to ignore the bill sitting there, staring at me and pressuring me into leaving.

I invited a friend, that I had not seen in a long time, to meet me for coffee and she asked how long it would take, because she had to pick up her kid from here and taken him there and the other one would be done at such time and he need to go to this other thing. Now I remember why we have not seen each other in such a long time, there is no time.

There is one thing that I try to avoid in our multitasking world, lunch meetings. I hate lunch meetings, to me work and lunch should be separate events, they don’t mix. It doesn’t  help that for me lunch is the biggest meal of the day (another cultural thing) and that I like to take my time and not inhale my meal. When I cannot avoid a lunch meeting, I try no to eat during it. I feel it is better for my digestive process. I have worked with people who talk with their mouth full and perform other unappetizing behaviors during lunch meetings, that might be why I have created such an aversion to them. But still, I like to have my meals sitting down, calmly, in good company, savor and enjoy. Is there something wrong with that? Do you feel that it is time wasted?

I realize I have assimilated a lot to the US culture and I am often times running against the clock, doing seven things a once, and when I finally get home I tend to stop, and slow down. I try to leave the rush outside. But sometimes I find myself running again, cooking meals for a few days at one time, so that I can slow down and enjoy later.

Are you running? tell me what are you running to of from? Can we afford to slow down and enjoy the ride?





Huggers Wanted

31 05 2009

I was watching a news report that talked about how some schools are banning hugs, or hugging among students. According to this news report it is all the new rage… hugging is new?

That was one of those times when I felt the Alien that I am. I come from a planet where we show affection. I used to hug and kiss (in the cheek) all my friends since elementary school (that is as far as I can remember). We hug and kiss our friends, specially if we haven’t seen them for a couple of days. With family we do, every time we see each other.

I guess the way we show affection is pretty much cultural. I have had to get used to not kissing and hugging people here, and when I visit my planet I feel awkward the first couple of days, when everybody wants to hug me. Then it all comes back and I feel that warmth of the embrace, the affection, and since I am the one outside the planetary circle, the hugs for me tend to be longer, as if we were trying to make up for lost time, or as my Mom would put it, “recharging my batteries”.

Have you heard about the Free Hugs Campain…if not here it is

 

Hey you don’t know what you are missing, hug somebody today!!





DO immigrant women have rights? Even when illegal?

1 03 2009

This is a case of an immigrant woman that I have heard allegedly happen and I want to know not only your opinion but does she have any rights.

This starts like any other love story, boy meets girl they fall in love they get married. Things change and unlike other love stories, they don’t live happily ever after. She is an immigrant in his country…

I don’t know how she came in, I am lacking a lot of details, but she is an illegal immigrant now. During the course of their marriage he was supposed to have asked for her green card but apparently didn’t. I have my doubts that it was even a legal marriage.

After a while he became abusive, mostly verbally and then escalated, the abuse  became also physical. For some reason, some women stay in relationships like that, I will never understand why.

Then she got pregnant, the abuse ceased for a little and then started again, but this time she was pregnant and afraid to miscarriage because of the beatings. She left him and ended up at his parents house; they welcomed her with open arms, they always treated her as a daughter and they said they’ll figure out how to make things work.

One day she overheard a conversation between her mother in law and her son (her husband); she was saying that they only needed to wait for a few more weeks until the baby was born, then she would call immigration have the daughter in law deported that way they could get rid of her and keep the baby. She panicked, Read the rest of this entry »





The Steelers are WORLD Champions!!

2 02 2009

So the Steelers won the Superbowl and I have been hearing since the end of the game, yes I watched some of it, that they are the WORLD Champions…

So the USA is the world?!?!?!?!

What about the other continents, countries? What are they? Are those other WORLDS?

I think we are either extremely egocentristic and arrogant or we use the word WORLD very loosely.

I AM QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!! My world at least… 😉

Needles to say, I stil do not understand why the sport is called Fooball





The Power of Words

25 01 2009

I believe that words have the power we give them and just that.

I come from a planet where what you say is important but how you say it is just as important. So the words may have different meanings depending on the intention given when they are used. calling somebody fat can be offensive or a term of endearment.

I sometimes find myself repressing what I am going to say because I don’t know if I may be offending somebody. This country’s political correctness might be too repressive for my taste. You can’t say fat, it has to be overweight, no blind but visually impaired. Why are we so sensitive to words that we created?

We go as far as to have a funeral for a word and forbid people to use it. To me that gives that word a lot more power. That word is so powerful that people only dare to say N-word, only a certain group of people are allowed to use it. If anybody else uses it, the entire society goes up in arms. It is absurd!!

I went to a training to understand gay issues and I learned so much about what they go through; but one of the things that strikes me the most is that they told me that the were reclaiming the word “Queer”. They told me that this word was used to offend gays and that they were reclaiming it to take away that offensive meaning. I thought that was brilliant!

If we took away the meaning of words, that are not even the real meaning of those words, that were just  meanings given by people that were trying to make others feel angry, offended, minimized, we would be taking the power away from them.

Recently I got a comment to a posting called Illegal Immigration-Mexico’s double talk… this comment used the word “Beaners”, I responded back asking what that means, I know is a derogatory way of calling Mexicans, Latinos, Hispanics, illegal immigrants, I am not sure if is some of those or all, usually people that use terms in that way would not make a distinction between groups.

I am not offended because beaners doesn’t have any meaning or value to me, but I am curious to know what he was trying to say with that.

From my alien point of view, we should stop giving words so much power and start being more honest and open. We cannot be liked by everyone and we are bound to either offend or feel offended by what another person does or says. Let get rid of the egg shels and start communicating for real, lets clear the miss understandings and stop assuming.